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Mar212012

« 12. Develop emotional intelligence: Kind words »

Written by Rachel Green. Director, The Emotional Intelligence Institute.

Most of us have not grown up in emotionally intelligent societies, schools or families and thus our potential emotional intelligence has seldom developed to its fullest. 

The good news is that there are many different activities adults can engage in to develop their emotional intelligence.

This article will focus upon emotional intelligence activities for adults which will help develop the sixth emotional intelligence competency on the Genos emotional intelligence model: Emotional management of others. It will focus upon the emotional reactions that kindness brings.

How good are you at managing the emotions of others? 

High emotional intelligence in this area may include the ability to manage the emotions of others, in individuals, groups and organisations; to manage emotions in people you know well and in those you don't, and to handle a full range of emotions in people, from sadness and anger through to excitement and elation.

Emotional intelligence activity: Say kind words

You might imagine that it is hard to influence and manage other people's emotions. However it needn't be. Sometimes it is the simplest things that make the difference. You can, for example, influence people's emotions by what you say and how you say it.

Today's activity for you is to use kind words to help manage people's emotions.

Practise saying kind things to people and notice their reactions.

  • You might thank them for what they've done, for the presentations they have given to your executive meeting, for the deadlines they have met, for the ideas they have contributed at a meeting.
  • You may praise them for their productivity, patience or thoughtfulness.
  • You may compliment them on some aspect of their appearance, strengths or work.

When you do these things notice whether people brighten up a little, or not. If they do, you are influencing their emotions.

Practise saying kind things to people every day for the next 4 weeks, and notice the effect it has.

The influence the kind words have will vary across people and situations. Of course, the kind words need to be said in a genuine, sincere, way; faking it is unlikely to produce a positive response.

What is your level of emotional intelligence in managing the emotions of others?

EI skills: Develop your emotional intelligence skills, now

There is so much that you can do to develop your emotional intelligence and the E.I. Institute has a number of options to help you:
  1. There are top quality CDs, books and DVDs, including the very practical 2 DVD program: "How to develop emotional resilience and manage your emotions". We include kindness as part of our practical discussion.
  2. There is a series of advanced emotional intelligence master-classes, and particularly relevant to this topic is: "Positivity resonance for high EI leaders".
  3. There are high energy, interactive and practical emotional intelligence workshops, and a highly relevant one is: "How to be emotionally resilient and thrive".
  4. There is a dynamic keynote speech "High on emotional intelligence" which enables you to present the key concepts of emotional intelligence to your whole workforce in one go, at your annual conference or PD day.
  5. There is superior, skills-based, 1-1 emotional intelligence coaching.

For more details or to make a booking e-mail us now or pick up the phone and call us.