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« 13. Develop emotional intelligence: The first sign »

Written by Rachel Green, Director, The Emotional Intelligence Institute, accredited user of the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso-Emotional-Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) and internationally recognised Emotional Intelligence Coach.

Developing emotional intelligence as an adult can be a life-long journey. However, by practising a series of tasks, such as the one below, you can start to see results quite quickly.

Few of us have ever practised emotional intelligence activities to the same extent we have practised other skill sets. You probably spent considerable time at school learning to read, understanding maths or playing sport. It would be highly unlikely that you dedicated anywhere near the same amount of time or practice to emotional intelligence activities.

This is why many of us are not very skilled when it comes to emotional intelligence. We have never been trained in it or devoted the time to it.

The good news is that with practice and time, emotional intelligence activities can produce significant results in adults.

There are many, many activities that you can use in developing your emotional intelligence.

This one will help you develop the seventh emotional intelligence competency on the Genos emotional intelligence model: Emotional self-control.

How good are you at controlling strong emotions? 

Someone with a high level of emotional intelligence in this area would be able to control strong emotions such as anger, anxiety, fear or exuberance. It applies to both "positive" and "negative" emotions. 

Want to develop your levels of emotional intelligence and receive coaching from a top emotional intelligence coach? Sign up for our five star emotional intelligence coaching package and have your emotional intelligence assessed on the MSCEIT as part of that. It could change your life - for the better. Click here to find out more.

Emotional intelligence activity: Catch the first sign of irritation

Strong emotions can build-up one step at a time. It's a bit like climbing a mountain, it takes many steps to get to the top and then when you do you may find there's a volcanic eruption!

So it is with strong emotions. The first step may be a minor irritation. If this is not reversed another irritation may be added on top, and then a third or fourth one.

Suddenly, someone says or does something, or something happens, and it sets off a volcanic eruption of anger or frustration in you.

One way of helping to ease these anger outbursts is to watch out for early signs of irritation and to deal with them at the time.

The more quickly and easily you deal with the early signs the less likely you are to build up stronger emotions and blow up.

You can be helped in doing this by following the steps in two of the earlier activities:

Before you go into a meeting, when you get home at night, before you arrive at work, ask yourself, "Am I carrying any irritation?". If you are do something to release it safely before it starts being compounded by another irritation. Be on the alert! Do not fester or sulk. This is not emotionally intelligent.

What is your level of emotional intelligence and emotional self-control?

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