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Wedding day nerves cured by love letters, by Rachel Green

Written by Rachel Green. Your smart emotions coach: Helping people find positive outcomes from uneasy emotions. Director of The Emotional Intelligence Institute. 

Wedding day nerves cured by love letters

Getting married? Got wedding day jitters? You aren't alone. But what can you do with the nerves?

I'll always remember getting married. I'd been dating my fiancé for about 3 years and I'd been really certain that he was Mr Right. Then about 6 weeks before the wedding I started getting really anxious, worried that I may have made a mistake. So instead of focusing on my wedding dress I was trying to stop my nerves instead.

My self-doubt was very strong in the build up to the wedding and the wedding nerves escalated.

There were many things contributing to my nerves. What mattered more than anything was to try and get them to ease.

Wedding day nerves: Focus on the things you love in him

I decided to start focusing on all the things I loved about the man I was about to marry.

As I relived these moments of love my anxiety started to settle. The love that I had for him burst anew in my heart and burnt up some of the anxiety.

At other times when my wedding nerves resurfaced, I would simply run through other memories of the good times we'd had together.

Wedding day nerves: Write out a list

Then I'd list the things I loved about him.

The list became very long. How could I not want to marry this man?

By focusing on the wonderful things about my fiancé my wedding nerves settled to become far more manageable.

Wedding day nerves: Focus on what's important

Focusing on the good things about the man you'll marry can be a lovely anxiety management technique to settle your wedding nerves and jitters.

What will you focus on?

By the way despite my nerves I married a wonderful man and we are still married many years later. And we are still happy. The wedding day nerves didn't mean I had made a mistake, it was simply a reaction to the big step I was taking.

In addition to the love letters, I have also found meditation very helpful in calming down my nerves. If you want to try meditation to ease your nerves I recommend our "Happy not hassled" MP3 recordings to you. I still practise meditation to help me stay calm.

MP3s $29(US) Add to Cart


NB: Any information contained in this article is not provided as an alternative to the obtaining of psychological advice from an appropriately qualified practitioner. Rachel is not a psychologist, Dr or psychiatrist. This information is only general in nature. If you, or people known to you, have significant anxiety please seek professional help and do not rely on this for the diagnosis or treatment of any psychological problems.

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