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« Reduce anxiety: Secrets from a confident woman, by Rachel Green »

Written by Rachel Green. Your smart emotions coach: Helping people find positive outcomes from uneasy emotions and difficult decisions. Director of The Emotional Intelligence Institute. She has cured herself of panic attacks through meditation.

Reduce anxiety: Secrets from a confident woman

It's a myth that if you're confident you won't have anxiety. As a confident woman I've had plenty. As a confident woman I've also used a range of anxiety management techniques to settle it and manage it.

The problem is that other people look at people, such as myself, who are confident and put us on some kind of pedestal of perfect self-confidence. They think if we are confident we can't have anxiety. If only!

For example, I was delivering a speech once. I was weaving personal stories into my speech and came across confidently.

One of the stories I told was about the time I'd had severe panic attacks for eighteen months. I wasn't showing off or trying to draw any attention to my suffering, I was simply telling my story to help others feel more comfortable with their own anxiety issues so they didn't have to suffer alone.

At the end of the speech I had an unexpected discussion with one of the ladies from the audience. She came up to me and said, "You can't have had panic attacks. You're so confident".

I laughed. Was this lady really thinking I had lied? Or was her concept of being confident too restrictive? I decided her concept of confidence was far too narrow for her own good.

"Even a confident woman can have panic attacks."

My answer was simple. "Even a confident woman can have panic attacks."

"They can't, can they?", she asked.

"Let me tell you a secret. We are all capable of feeling anxious. Yes, a confident woman or man can have panic attacks. I am confident. It didn't preclude me from having panic attacks though. I definitely had them. I can teach you how to have them too if you feel you've missed out", I joked.

"Oh", she whispered, "I've had them too. And I've never told anyone, ever. I've always been too embarrassed. But if you've had them then it's okay."

I gave her a hug. "It's okay, we can all have anxiety, confident or not. You know what matters to me is that you now have the confidence to go and reduce your anxiety. Why suffer anxiety without having useful anxiety management techniques to help you?"

Are you like this lady and have panic attacks? If so, you might like to learn how to meditate, meditation helped me reduce my anxiety. I recommend our "Happy not hassled" MP3 recordings to you. The meditations are the ones I used to help me overcome my panic attacks.

MP3s $29(US) Add to Cart

A confident woman with anxiety and an unconfident woman with anxiety

On reflection, the difference between a confident woman or man with anxiety, and someone with anxiety and a lack of confidence may be as follows:

The confident woman is confident enough to know she can handle it. The confident woman is also able to call the doctor, or a counsellor, psychologist, priest or other relevant person to ask for help and support. A confident woman can care for herself and integrate anxiety management into her list of skills.

A woman who lacks confidence is more likely to be embarrassed about her anxiety and instead shun help. She may be too afraid to ask for support or to tell people, for fear of something. But fear of what? Fear that they will think she's gone crazy or mad, or somehow can't cope?

If confident women and men can have anxiety then there is nothing to fear. Anxiety is quite normal in that virtually everyone has it. It does differ in severity though. So if you are having panic attacks or severe anxiety act as a confident woman does and get help. It's a myth that confident women or men aren't anxious.

Now the secret is out, there is no excuse for not taking the time to develop the skills or gain the professional help you need for managing anxiety.

What can you do to feel more confident and feel less anxious?

If you are finding your anxiety is exhausting you and stopping you sleeping or thinking straight, you might like to learn how to meditate. If so, I recommend our "Happy not hassled" MP3 recordings to you. The meditations are the ones I used to help me overcome my panic attacks.

MP3s $29(US) Add to Cart


NB: Any information contained in this article is not provided as an alternative to the obtaining of psychological advice from an appropriately qualified practitioner. Rachel is not a psychologist, Dr or psychiatrist. If you have significant anxiety please seek professional help and do not rely on this for the diagnosis or treatment of any psychological problems.