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Monday
Jan082018

« 17. Judging types at their best »

Written by Rachel Green. Director, The Emotional Intelligence Institute. MBTI coach with over 25 years MBTI experience, and author of the new book: "INFJ: What's it like to be one."

The Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), is a personality and communication profile which differentiates 16 different personality types based on 8 preferences. One of the personality preferences is called "Judging" or "J".

There are eight different types of Js around! These include INFJ, ESTJ, ENTJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, ISTJ, ESFJ, and INTJ.

They contrast with the perceiving types: INFP, ESTP, ENTP, ISFP, ENFP, ISTP, ESFP, and INTP.

We have already had an article describing the influence of the Judging preference on behaviour and this article will provide some ways to be at your best if you have a Judging preference.

Emotional intelligence tip 1: Don't use your type to dismiss poor behaviour.

Personality preferences are just that - preferences.

Although some people would like to, type is not intended to be used as an excuse. "What else can you expect from a "J"?" is an excuse and is misusing the MBTI.

To provide your preferences as an explanation, however, is useful when accompanied by a strategy to deal with it.

For example, at a meeting, a J might say, "As a J, I am getting stressed that no decision has been taken yet. I'd like to negotiate a deadline which allows you to collect more priority information and which allows me closure within a reasonable time limit."

Different types have different aspects of emotional intelligence they find harder and easier. However, developing their emotional intelligence is vitality important for each type. Come join with me in this exciting new emotional intelligence coaching package and I will make sure it is personalised to you and your type.

Emotional intelligence tip 2: Start trying to leave decisions open-ended.

Experiment with your decision making time-lines and deliberately leave some of them open longer than you initially would.

Start off choosing the least pressured decisions, i.e. those which don't have large consequences attached to them. By gradually expanding the time you are able to leave actions and decisions open, you may reduce your stress levels - and in some circumstances increase your efficiency.

For example, if my mother had made a list (she likes lists as many J's do!) of questions to ask me when she saw me the next day and had written, "Ask Rachel whether I can take my television and then decide whether to renew or cancel it", and then left it for 24 hours, she would have saved herself work.

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Emotional intelligence tip 3: Monitor your "Yes, buts".

Monitor your "Yes, buts ... " and try reducing them so they become under your control and not just an automatic part of your speech.

Why do I say that? Because "Yes, buts ..." can ruin conversations, they can make you seem unnecessarily negative or they can put other people off and stop them from opening up to you.

You may need to pause before responding to catch the "Yes, buts ..." as they come into your mind. If during a pause you hear a "Yes but ..." forming in your head switch it to a question or comment which encourages the other person to tell you more about their opinion instead of your counteracting them.

For example if someone says "The garden is lovely", ask "Lovely - in what way?" or "It sounds as though you like it - what do you think the best parts of it are?" This is far better than saying, "Yes, but it needs watering!".

Different types have different aspects of emotional intelligence they find harder and easier. However, developing their emotional intelligence is vitality important for each type. Come join with me in this exciting new emotional intelligence coaching package and I will make sure it is personalised to you and your type.

Emotional intelligence tip 4: Set yourself limits - stop "justing".

Stop saying "I'll just... do this and then finish". Instead, finish now.

To monitor the "I'll just ..." in your head, experiment with disobeying some of them, particularly on unimportant jobs or tasks. When you hear an "I'll just ... " to an unimportant task say "No, I won't, I'll stop now" and go and do a priority task or whatever else you know you could be doing, like going home, making tea or taking a break.

It may be easier for you if at the start of a day you set yourself distinct limits to stick to, e.g.

  • I will leave work no later than 6pm.
  • I will go to bed at 10pm.
  • I will do job A before any other job.
  • I will only allow myself to do another job when job A is finished.
  • I will have an exercise break at 11am, etc.

Set an alarm 15 minutes before the set time so you can finish off what you were doing in the remaining 15 minutes.

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EQ at work, INFJ: Get to know your type, increase communication effectiveness and lower conflict

There is so much that you or your team can learn so that you develop greater understanding of, and skills with, your communication, personality and relationships at work and home. The EI Institute has a number of options to help you:

  1. If you are an INFJ or live or work with one, then this 2018 book by Rachel Green, our Director, is a must read: "INFJ: What's it like to be one."
  2. If you are in Western Australia, a high energy, MBTI interactive team-building workshop can be organised for you: "Getting on: MBTI Team building".
  3. Meditation appeals to many introverts and we have a very popular audio-download on meditation called: "Happy Not Hassled". A perfect way to introvert and stay healthy.
  4. There is superior 1-1 coaching; and the MBTI is included as part of our smart leadership coaching package. You can find out your MBTI type and develop the skills you need, with Rachel Green.

For more details or to make a booking e-mail us now or pick up the phone and call us.