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Monday
Mar122012

« 23. Low emotional intelligence: Misunderstood »

Written by Rachel Green. Director, The Emotional Intelligence Institute, accredited MSCEIT consultant.

In this case we will look at the problems that may arise when you have low levels on dimension two: emotional self-expression.

The answer to the question, "What is emotional intelligence" or "What is EQ?" can sometimes best be explained by demonstrating what happens when it is only present to a small degree. 

There are many problems that may arise if you don't express your emotions clearly, respectfully and safely at work and instead dump your emotions on others or suppress them and hope that they go away.

I will list a few of the problems here and encourage you to add your own to the list.

3 problems of low level skills of emotional expression at work.

  1. If you don't explain to others how you feel they may guess how you feel and get it wrong. Being silent about your feelings doesn't mean that people will ignore them, they will just try to work it out for themselves. They may be in error. However, in the absence of any declaration from you to the contrary they will presume that their guess is right. Then they may tell others. 
  2. All this can foster negative gossip, a lack of trust and grave misunderstandings.
  3. If you can't express feelings of appreciation, pride, and other similar emotions people may think you they are unappreciated or taken for granted. This can have a detrimental effect. Employee engagement can drop when employees do not feel valued, appreciated or supported.

How high is your emotional intelligence? Take the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso-Emotional-Intelligence-Test (MSCEIT) to find out and gain feedback on the results from our Director, emotional intelligence specialist, Rachel Green. Click here to find out how.

3 more problems of low level skills in emotional expression 

  1. You may suffer a loss of good staff. For example, I was told recently by a manager that one of his key staff had left him because she "felt unappreciated". He was so surprised when she told him, he had no idea. He had thought it was "obvious" that he appreciated her but he'd not told her such in any direct clear way, until it was too late. 
  2. When you don't express emotions clearly they may fester and disturb your sleep and drain your energy. How often have you heard of someone being upset by a comment, and then stewing on it, only to find themselves lying awake still thinking about it? I hear of it happening often. This means the next day when you face the Board you are going to find it harder to think clearly.
  3. Carrying unexpressed negative emotions for any length of time, can zap your energy, leave you feeling tired, drained and fatigued, and make you harder to deal with and relate to. Who wants that? You will be more stressed at work and at home and may take it out on staff, partners or customers.

Have your emotional intelligence assessed now.

Want to know how high your emotional intelligence is? There is another model of emotional intelligence, by Salovey and Mayer, that has an ability-based emotional intelligence test called the MSCEIT which you can complete online.

Click here to find out how to take the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso-Emotional-Intelligence-Test (MSCEIT) and gain feedback on the results from our Director, emotional intelligence specialist, Rachel Green.

Develop your emotional intelligence now

We have many resources plus coaching packages to help you. Click here for the 5 star emotional intelligence coaching package, or for more details or to make a booking e-mail us now or pick up the phone and call us.

Develop your emotional intelligence now and lead a happier, more productive life and improve your work relationships, whether with colleagues, stakeholders or customers.